This is Chapter Nine, where Kiya White Cloud, a University of Santa Cruz undergrad, and Brian Fenwick, his biology TA , finally get together. What Kiya doesn’t realize is that Brian, unlike most biology grad students, is a shapeshifter–and more wolf than man.
Kiya was surprised at how far from campus Brian drove. Most students kept close to the bus lines, on the west side or downtown when they could. This was a bit remote. It felt like being alone in the wilderness even if it was only a few miles from campus. How could Brian live like this?
Brian pulled up beside his cabin, a shed-like structure nestled among the redwoods, and turned off the truck. “Let me get the door,” he warned as he got out.
Kiya did as he was told, waiting for Brian to walk around the truck and open the door. Kiya really thought that he could have done it himself, but he liked being taken care of.
As he waited, Kiya looked around. Brian’s building looked more like a single garage than an apartment or a house. Brian opened the door and then held on to Kiya’s elbow, helping him out of the truck. “Thank you,” Kiya said, still quiet.
Brian was nervous now. He wondered if this was a mistake. “It’s, well, a bit rustic,” he admitted. “I like it because it’s private and on the edge of the woods.”
“Me too,” Kiya agreed. He couldn’t wait to see Brian’s territory. “Really, I won’t mind how messy it is.”
The door was on the side, facing the woods, not the road, and Brian led them around to it. While Brian fumbled to find the right key, Kiya noticed that there was a large pet flap which took up most of the lower half of the door. “You have a dog?” Kiya asked.
“Um, yeah, a big one,” Brian answered as he turned the key and pushed the door open. “I hope you don’t mind dogs.”
“I love dogs,” Kiya told him, smiling a little again. Having a dog only made Brian look even better in his eyes. “I love animals in general.”
Brian smiled, thinking about how well Kiya got along with him when he was in his wolf form.
The first thing Kiya noticed, was that it was dark inside, even with the light. The couple of small windows had their shades pulled and dark curtains drawn. The second was that the place smelled like dog, too. Not overwhelming in a bad way, but with that musky scent that underlies everything. It was also one big room, like a studio apartment. It was sort of loosely divided into four sections. In one corner, near the door, were the sort of items you would expect in a student room–a bookcase, desk and chair, all overflowing with books and papers. The next corner held a refrigerator, some shelves with a few dishes and a small table and chair. There was no sink, stove or microwave in sight. To the right of them, another area held a chest of drawers and what looked like a portable closet. A duffel bag sat next to it, overflowing with laundry. The last corner, furthest from the door, had a futon mattress on the floor. It wasn’t made up. Instead, it was piled with pillows and blankets in what looked kind of like a nest.
Kiya figured it would be messy, but this wasn’t exactly what he’d expected either. He didn’t say anything for a long while, slowly turning around as he took in everything. Kiya was usually a clean freak, and his fingers tingled to start organizing and cleaning things, but he could also tell that it was kind of an organized mess, in a sense. Brian could probably find whatever he wanted, and fast, too. “Nice,” he murmured after a while, turning to face Brian again.
“Um, I’ve never had anyone else in here,” Brian said, flushing a little. He closed the door behind them and headed to the table. It had a single chair and he moved folded towels off of it and onto a nearby shelf. “Have a seat,” he said, before retrieving a second chair from in front of the computer desk.
Kiya sat down, and continued to look around. It could have been just a messy dorm room, but the other major difference in the room was the walls. There were no band or other posters. The only decorations were drawings. Dozens of hand drawn, unframed sketches were stuck all over the walls with pushpins. Some were of plants, like the ones Brian had been teaching them to draw for field notes. A few were of people. More than half of them were of what looked like big dogs. Kiya noticed that there was no other door in the place. Which meant there was no bathroom? At least none in sight. He supposed he’d just ask if he needed to go.
Brian placed the other chair facing Kiya and sat down in it. Leaning forward on his elbows, he studied the young man’s face.
Kiya didn’t notice he was being watched. He was still looking around the area, now eyeing the drawings on the walls. Brian must really love animals to have so many drawings of them. He wondered if he’d get to meet Brian’s dog.
“So, how are your wrists? Is the ice helping?” Brian asked.
Kiya looked down at him, and shrugged, nodding a little. He didn’t want to talk about them again. He was trying to change the mood. “I guess so,” he replied. “They feel numb.”
Brian reached for one of Kiya’s hands, lifting it carefully and unwrapping the ice pack. “It’s best to leave them on for only a short while, then take them off and put them on again in an hour.”
Kiya nodded, looking at the sorely bruised skin and wishing the color and pain would just go away so that Brian wouldn’t continue looking so worried. “Okay. How do you know that?” he asked.
“I took a first aid training course,” Brian answered, looking embarrassed about it. He’d done it because he hadn’t had the first idea of what to do if a human got injured and he never liked not knowing things. He’d found out humans were very fragile compared to his own kind.
“Oh, cool. That’s helpful,” Kiya said, not sure of why Brian looked embarrassed about it.
Brian set the pack on the table and reached for the second hand, unwrapping it as well. “I like to know what to do if something goes wrong,” Brian explained. “So, you going to tell me about this guy?”
Kiya shrugged slightly, looking away from him again. “I can’t believe he called me a whore,” he whispered after a while, because that was what was bothering him the most out of the entire altercation.
Brian felt a surge of anger at that, too. It had taken all his control not to maim Ted when he took him down. “You don’t have to take that from anyone,” he said, a tinge of a growl in his voice.
“I used to date Ted. He’s the only one I had been with here until yesterday,” Kiya went on, running his fingers through his hair as he sighed. He really felt stupid for getting together with Ted now, since it was obvious that he had never been good to him.
The desire to have been the one Kiya had gone home with the previous night instead of the other man was so strong in Brian that he had to take a deep breath, reminding himself that it wasn’t his place. “So tell me how this happened. How long were you together?”
“Since last October. I broke up with him before I left for spring break,” Kiya explained quietly, “Or at least, I thought I did.”
“But he won’t accept it. I heard that part,” Brian said. “Has he been giving you trouble before today?” He knew the answer, but he needed to have Kiya tell him as Brian, too.
“Yeah,” Kiya admitted, sighing. He didn’t want to tell Brian everything, but it did help to talk to someone who actually could reply. He’d talked with the wolf, but no one else about everything happening with Ted.
Brian was surprised to realize that he was still holding one of Kiya’s hands. Then he remembered he needed to put the ice packs in the freezer for Kiya to use again later. He didn’t want to let go of Kiya’s hand, though. “Want to tell me about it?” he encouraged.
“When we were together, he was always kind of forceful and rough, but I don’t know… It was just how Ted was,” Kiya started to say, looking down at their hands. He couldn’t say that he liked the roughness, not wanting Brian to think he was weird or something. “I dealt with it. It wasn’t until he didn’t want to use condoms anymore that I started to say no.”
Brian nodded. He understood why condoms were important for humans to use. There were diseases they could catch without them. “He shouldn’t force you to do something like that.”
“I know. So I broke up with him,” Kiya said, his hand moving to lace his and Brian’s fingers together. It was almost as if he wanted to show Brian that he really was okay, even if he didn’t look it at the moment.
In a wolf pack, Brian would have shown his concern through touch, so he did that now, giving a gentle squeeze of his hand and nodding. If he had been in wolf form, he would have licked Kiya. He missed being able to do that. “He’s been bothering you,” Brian prompted. He knew of at least three times before today, but could only admit to knowing about the current incident.
Kiya nodded slightly, still not wanting to tell him everything. It was too much, and Kiya didn’t want Brian to think he had millions of problems. “Yeah. Most of the time it was like what you saw today,” he said, shrugging again.
“He hurt you before, didn’t he?” Brian said, drawing Kiya’s hand closer, like he wanted to do with the rest of him.
When Kiya thought about it, he realized that there were plenty of times that he had gotten bruised and hurt by Ted, but he hadn’t cared as much then. He had wanted it then. But now, he didn’t, not so much. He flushed, nodding again. “Yeah, I guess so,” he replied.
Brian held Kiya’s hand against his chest, thumb caressing the back of it. He wanted to wrap his arms around Kiya and tell him he would never let anyone hurt him again. “I want to help,” he whispered.
“How?” Kiya asked, looking confused. “How you can help me? Besides just getting him arrested or whatever?”
Brian had to remember that human rules required he didn’t hunt down and hurt Ted, despite how much he wanted to do it. “If you tell the police what he did to you, they will lock him up,” he said. “But even if they don’t, I will help you in any way I can.”
Kiya was quiet for a long time, watching Brian as he thought. “I don’t want him to go to jail. He just needs help,” he told him. Kiya really and truly didn’t want to say what he was about to, looking down and taking a deep breath before he continued, very quietly, “He tried to rape me before.”
Brian shuddered, his anger at Ted making it difficult to think. His pack wouldn’t have allowed a wolf who raped to live. He didn’t know why people allowed men like that among them. And he didn’t know what to say to Kiya. So he did what felt right to him. He reached for Kiya’s other hand.
Kiya let Brian take his second hand, sniffling and blinking when he realized that his eyes were watery. “If it weren’t for my roommate, he would’ve done it,” he whispered. “I hate feeling weak. I hate it so much.”
Brian nodded. “I understand that.” Although Brian knew Kiya wasn’t pack, he felt as protective of him as if he were. “Do you know anything about wolves?” he asked suddenly.
Kiya’s eyebrows furrowed and he leaned back a little to look up at him. “Um, a little, why?” he asked, wondering now if Brian had seen him with the wolf in the woods.
“It’s one of the areas I study,” Brian said, gesturing to the drawings of wolves on the wall. They also happened to be his family members, but he didn’t explain that. “Wolf packs work together to protect their members from outsiders. The strong protect the weak. It’s their way.”
Kiya thought that would probably explain why his wolf had acted the way he did when Ted had been bothering him that one time in the forest. “I understand that,” he said with a small nod. “But what does that have to do with anything?”
“It has to do with understanding that the weak are just as important to the pack as the strong. It’s the pack as a whole that matters. Stronger wolves hunt and defend the area, but weaker wolves tend the young, provide comfort, warn of danger and help the pack survive. A lone wolf, no matter how strong, is never as good as a pack.” Brian felt sad when he said that out loud. He was a lone wolf now.
“Are you saying I shouldn’t be alone?” Kiya asked quietly, still unsure of where this was all coming from.
“I am saying that being physically weaker than another man doesn’t make you less important. Ted should not be allowed to hurt you,” Brian insisted.
“Oh.” Kiya understood it now, and that made him smile a little, because he hadn’t thought of it that way. “I get it.”
“Good,” Brian smiled. He still held both of Kiya’s hands and he gently brought them together, checking the wrists again. They were red and would probably be sore for a day or so, but the swelling had gone down. He looked up again. “Humans and wolves are alike in some ways. They both live in groups because it is better for all of them if they take care of each other. Do you know what happens to a lone wolf?”
“No, what happens?” Kiya asked, He still wanted Brian, more now than ever, and he was really enjoying being touched by him. Kiya was leaning over with his hands in Brian’s but he wanted more, wanted to wrap himself up in Brian.
Brian looked into Kiya’s beautiful green eyes, his own expression a little sad. “It is said that they go mad from loneliness and die. The strong need the weak as much as the other way around.”
“That’s so sad,” Kiya whispered, looking down as he thought about the wolf in the woods. He hoped that would never happen to him.
The desire to touch Kiya was powerful and Brian had to take another deep breath not to reach for him, to hold him close. And every deep breath flooded his senses with the young man’s scent, stirring the wolf inside. His fingers in Kiya’s squeezed gently.
Kiya was quiet again, watching Brian’s face. He thought Brian was holding something back, but what it was, he didn’t know. On a sudden impulse he leaned in closer and kissed Brian’s lips softly, finally giving in to the urge he felt.
The shock of pleasure as Kiya’s lips touched his was so intense that Brian didn’t even think to resist. He gave a little growl in his throat and pressed back, tilting his head to encourage the kiss.
Kiya was surprised and delighted, because he had feared that me might be pushed away again, like before. Being kissed back was hugely preferable. He didn’t think he could take being rejected again, but had risked it because he hadn’t been able to think of any other way to express his gratitude to Brian for his unexpected support and concern.
Brian’s lips parted, tongue hungrily moving to lick at Kiya’s lips. The taste and smell of Kiya was powerful, Brian’s body reacting more intensely than he could ever remember feeling before. Without conscious decision, he released one of Kiya’s hands and wrapped his arm around his waist, pulling him closer.
Kiya slid out of the chair when he was pulled, his free arm moving to wrap around Brian’s neck. His lips parted to touch Brian’s tongue with his own, and he gasped softly.
The power Kiya had over him felt as strong as shifting, and any doubts Brian had about resisting him were gone. He pulled Kiya the rest of the way into his lap, their tongues twisting together.
Kiya was startled when he was pulled into Brian’s lap, but he didn’t pull away, his hand moving up and into Brian’s hair to grip it gently, trying to keep up with the rapidly building intensity of the kiss.
Brian lost himself in the sensations– the slide of his lips against Kiya’s, his tongue exploring his mouth, that hand gripping his hair and Kiya’s bottom wriggling in his lap. Brian’s heart was pounding and his skin grew hot as he growled again, nipping at Kiya’s chin.
Kiya heard the growl, and for some reason it excited him, his hand tightening in Brian’s hair as he kissed him again, harder.
Brian felt like he could crawl inside the other man, arm pulling him as close and tight as possible. He continued to devour Kiya’s mouth, his jeans becoming tight with his arousal.
Kiya could feel Brian’s excitement press against him, and as much as he wanted more with him, he hesitated. “Brian,” he murmured in-between the kisses. “Wait.”
It took a minute for the word to register and, when it did, Brian had to force himself to stop, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths.
“Want you, but…” Kiya kissed the corner of Brian’s lips, sighing softly. “I want to wait.”
Brian’s body was thrumming so powerfully that he had to concentrate to make sense of the spoken language. He tried to remember who he was and what he was doing–and flushed remembering that he shouldn’t be doing any of this at all. Kiya was his student. He let his head fall back. “I shouldn’t.”
“Forget who we are,” Kiya told him, reaching to run his fingers over Brian’s cheek. “Just do what you think is right.”
Brian opened his eyes. That may have been a mistake, because looking at Kiya only made him want him more. “Right?” he whispered. It was like there were two rights. The rules he had been told to follow that said he couldn’t have Kiya because he was his subordinate in the university hierarchy. And the right of the pack that told him the exact opposite—that the dominate had the right to a willing subordinate. Yet, that was the same pack that would never understand him using a pure, frail human for anything but the most immediate pleasure. It was maddening, and as Brian’s mind raced through irreconcilable loops, his body felt on fire with the need for Kiya.
Kiya rested his head against Brian’s shoulder, sighing softly and closing his eyes. “I just feel so good here in your arms,” he murmured after a moment.
“Yes,” Brian admitted, one hand still clutching Kiya’s and the other petting his back soothingly as he tried to rein in the intensity of what he felt.
“Can I stay here with you for a while?” Kiya asked quietly, reaching to play with the hem of Brian’s shirt.
Brian groaned. The touch to his belly and so close to his groin did not help him think. “Why would you want that?” he asked, voice so low it was almost a whisper.
“Why wouldn’t I?” Kiya asked quietly, looking up at him. “I feel safer here than I’ve felt in a long time.”
Brian wanted to bring Kiya to his bed, to lay him back and take him, repeatedly. The images that swirled in his mind made it difficult to know what to say. He imagined lying with Kiya in his arms, holding him, petting him. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath. “Are you afraid Ted will hurt you if you return there?”
“A little,” Kiya admitted, looking down again. “He knows where I live. He knows what I do every day. The only thing he doesn’t know is my current class schedule.”
Brian knew he couldn’t let Kiya stay with him. He could barely control himself sitting there fully clothed. There was no way he could resist him if he spent more time there. And then there was the bigger problem. Brian was a wolf, not a man. He couldn’t stay in human form that long. “I can make sure he doesn’t hurt you again,” Brian said. He glanced around the room. “You do realize this is all there is. I don’t even have a bathroom here.”
“I don’t need a bathroom,” Kiya told him honestly.
“You hardly know me,” Brian tried arguing. It was true in more ways than he could explain. He wished he could share everything with Kiya, especially after Kiya showed himself willing to accept and trust the wolf. But pack laws forbade him from telling a human anything about the Faewolves.
“If you really don’t want me to stay, I won’t,” Kiya murmured, sighing and resting his head on Brian’s shoulder again.
Brian released Kiya’s hand and moved his own to Kiya’s jaw, sliding his fingers along the smooth skin there and having to suppress another growl at just how good that felt. “Wanting you is my problem,” he admitted.
“Why? Besides the fact that I’m your student?” Kiya asked, tilting his head back up again.
“Which isn’t fair to you and can get me expelled,” Brian pointed out. But his hand ignored his words, fingers sliding along the back of Kiya’s neck and skull, spreading to feel the thick hair between them. Brian’s cock twitched and his body gave a little tremor. His body didn’t care about rules.
“But you want to fuck me, don’t you?” Kiya asked suddenly, nuzzling the side of Brian’s face. He needed to be sure.
Brian’s breath hitched and his eyes closed again. Oh, how he wanted that. And he wanted a lot more. His fingers gripped Kiya’s hair and pulled him back, turning to look into his eyes. “I could not be a one night stand,” he said, voice almost a growl.
Kiya didn’t want that either, if he was being honest with himself, but he was curious as to why Brian had felt the need to say that. “Why not?” he asked, mindful of the hand gripping his hair.
Brian had the urge to lick Kiya again. Instead, he kissed him once more, lips barely caressing this time, breath mingling and his body shuddering with pent up energy.
Kiya’s eyes slid shut as soon as their lips touched, a small sound of need escaping him as the kiss deepened.
The second kiss was even better, Brian’s grip on the back of Kiya’s head and hair providing him with the ability to control the angle and moves. He gently, thoroughly, plundered Kiya’s sweet mouth, the warm body squirming in his lap adding even more fuel to the fire of Brian’s arousal.
Kiya gave in and let Brian control the kiss. It felt so good to be wanted, to be touched by someone who seemed to want to take care of him as well as enjoy him.
Brian felt Kiya relax into the kiss, which released whatever caution he still had, his other hand on Kiya’s hip now. He pulled Kiya so that he was more firmly seated on Brian’s cock, rubbing those firm cheeks against the flesh that strained at the denim of his jeans. Brian moaned into Kiya’s mouth.
Kiya took advantage of the new position to press down harder as they kissed, moving his hips in a slow circle. The growl was back, Brian sucking and nipping at Kiya’s lips and chin, his hips shifting to accommodate the weight of his body. Kiya heard the chair creak under their weight, and for a moment he thought it would break. It might be better just to go to the nest of pillows on the futon, but he couldn’t even pull back to say that. He thought his lips would be swollen by the time Brian released him, and that only excited him further.
Brian’s hand slid from Kiya’s hip to between Kiya’s legs, cupping the arousal he found there and rubbing the fabric covered flesh with the heel of his hand. Brian’s mouth was working its way up the line of Kiya’s jaw to the fragrant soft skin of the boy’s throat.
“Shit,” Kiya whispered, his hips jerking at the unexpected spike of pleasure. “Brian…”
“Kiya,” Brian groaned against the skin of his neck, licking the spot just below the hinge of the jaw.
“Bite, please?” Kiya asked quietly, tilting his head back a little more.
The rush of heat that answered that plea was enough to startle Brian. He didn’t want to hurt Kiya. Humans seemed so fragile to him. But he needed to feel that flesh between his teeth. He opened his mouth against the skin below Kiya’s ear, tongue pressed to the pulse point as he gently bit down.
Kiya groaned loudly, his head falling back more as the shock of desire went through his entire system. “Harder,” he whispered.
Brian’s cock spasmed with the feel of flesh between his teeth and he bit down. His tongue pressed against the skin, lapping. At least his human teeth were blunt compared to his wolf ones.
Kiya’s hips were moving faster now, trying to establish more friction than he was getting. Brian was biting him hard, and it felt wonderful, but he still needed more, still needed a sensation he couldn’t express. “Brian,” he whimpered softly, gripping his shirt.
Brian could smell and taste Kiya’s arousal driving his own hard. It took effort to lift his teeth from Kiya’s neck and whisper. “Yes.”
“Wanna come,” Kiya whispered after a few minutes, his fingers tightening in Brian’s shirt.
Brian wanted this, wanted to feel Kiya’s pleasure and see it in his face, but he slid his hand off Kiya’s cock. “Not here,” he whispered.
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