Advent Calendar Bonus: “The Patience Of A Present”, TammyJo Eckhart

The Patience of a Present

By TammyJo Eckhart

“It is a good thing I like tight spaces,” he thought to himself, “or this damn box would be unbearable. My own choice – I’m the fool who decided he’d be a surprise Yule gift – but still, how much longer until Mistress Lydia gets home?”  He adjusted his kneeling position.

Todd had gotten the box from work, from one of the new server racks that IT had installed this past week.  When he saw the large boxes he knew he had to have one, and frankly the difficulty hadn’t been in getting it; the difficulty had been getting it home, taking a taxi instead of the usual subway. He’d made sure he’d had enough wrapping paper squirreled away, and to set it all up he’d used their storage closet in the complex basement that she never ventured down to.  He’d used tissue paper of the same basic color as the wrapping paper to cover his breathing holes, and then today when Mistress had confirmed that she wouldn’t be back until after 6 pm, he’d decided to go for the surprise. Continue reading

Advent Calendar: Midwinter by Raven de Hart

The screech of metal against stone filled the dark, wooded halls of the Oak King’s palace. He stood at the grinding wheel, foot pumping, honing his blade. After so many thousands of years, the twining knots on the center were almost nonexistent, but if he held it just right, the moonlight would catch them, revealing the sword’s former glory.

Continue reading

Sponsored Event: The Slutcracker

Fellow Bostonians (and Somervillians, and Cantabrigiae Novae), have you found yourself sitting and musing, on this fine wintry afternoon, “Self, I’d love to go see the classic story of The Nutcracker this holiday season, but I can’t help thinking that there just aren’t enough tits in ballet.”?

Wonderful news! Someone has come up with a solution to this problem. The inimitable Sugar Dish, classically-trained ballerina and burlesque dancer extraordinaire, is once again producing The Slutcracker, the heartwarming tale of sweet Clara, the daring Drosselmeyer, and a magic dildo. The whip-cracking, pole-dancing, festive holiday Bacchanale runs at the Somerville Theater, including performances on XXX-Mas Eve and First Night.

We at Circlet Press sent out an envoy to deliver a large box of Christmas lesbians (in convenient paperback form) to the producer before the show opened. Get your tickets now to see what she’s done with them!

(I’ll be serving as an usher on December 20th and 24th. Come verify for yourself that we really do exist outside of the internet! — Arabella, the Porn Fairy)

Advent Calendar: “Fences” by D M Hubbard

Fences

by David Hubbard

Everyone expected the world to end with a bang: nuclear war, alien invaders, even zombies would’ve been fun. Instead, it was with a whimper; the smallest of sounds, really, a virus of all things. Dubbed the X1N1 virus, X for short, it was the most virulent strain of swine flu ever seen, and no one knew where it had come from or how it had become so lethal. I like to think it was just Darwinism at its finest. Survival of the fittest, and this time around humanity wasn’t all that fit. Almost the entire population had already become infected before the virus had even been identified and named. But X was a clever little bug; it didn’t always kill its host immediately. Sometimes it would just lay dormant: weeks, months, sometimes even longer. Like years, in my case. Continue reading

Sponsored Event: The Literary Roast, Volume Three

Porn Fairy: Hey, do you want to go to the Lit Roast with me?
Porn Fairy’s Housemate: I don’t know. What is it?
PF: A bunch of burlesquers and circus people, plus my boss, are getting together to make fun of books.
PFH: …yes. Yes, I do.

Come see the third Literary Roast, at OBERON (2 Arrow Street, Cambridge, MA) on Thursday, 12/18! Join an all-star roster of naughty librarians and dirty grammarians for a knock-down, drag-out celebration of books and authors — including Grand High Poobah of Circlet Press (and loyal Harry Potter fan), Cecilia Tan, taking J K Rowling down a peg or five.  We never turn up to these things without a hostess gift of the adult persuasion, either, which the hosts say will be going home with a few lucky someones in the audience.

Turn up, take your chances, and leave with a whole new definition of “bookworm”.

Sponsored Event: The Buttcracker

Hello again, Boston locals! Just in case you’re not already having an ass-tacular winter, I’d like to tell you a little bit about a show going on tomorrow. Wednesday, December 17th. Hosted by the legendary Johnny Blazes, this 5th anniversary show provides the perfect rear-end to your burlesque year!

From their Facebook event page:

“The BUTTCRACKER – 5th ANALVERSARY SHOW!
December 17 at OBERON
Doors 7:30pm
Show 8:00pm
$20
http://tinyurl.com/buttcrackertixxx

When Madge of Honor and Johnny Blazes conceived of The Buttcracker, they never imagined there would be enough butt puns + ass imagery to stuff five shows full, but here we are: the 5TH ANALVERSARY ASSTRAVAGANZA! The holiday hole in Boston is in fact gaping enough to fit another clASSIc show. The Buttcracker truly is the gift that keeps on giving!”

I attended their show last year, and let me tell you, you never forget the first time you hear someone utter the phrase, “And the Glory of the LORD twerked around them.” And don’t miss your chance to win an assload of prizes! Yours truly, the hard working Porn Fairy of Circlet Press, will be dropping off some fine adult literature for Johnny and Madge to give out during the show.

Sponsored show: The Batman Ball, a Burlesque and Batusi Dance Party!

Looking for something to do this weekend? If you’re in New York City, you’re in luck! Loopy lovely Lefty Lucy is putting on a Bat-tacular shindig at Slake, 251 W 30th St, NYC.

Photo by Ben Trivett Photography

 

THIS SATURDAY, you’re Invited to Gotham’s ONLY all Batman-themed burlesque show AND post-show dance party inspired by the 1966 Adam West TV series!

PLUS, since it is the season of giving, we’re offering a holiday discount! Get an additional $5 the online price—that’s $10 off the door price!—when you use code NUDENERD at checkout!
http://tinyurl.com/ldbklnd

That’s right—come to The Batman Ball—A Burlesque and Batusi Dance Party at Slake and you get:

  • original Batman-inspired burlesque acts from Magdalena Fox, Dee Doll, Mary Cyn, Lefty Lucy, Miss Poison Ivory, Kitty Nights NYC’s Fem Appeal, and Toronto’s Leelando Calrissian & Zilly Lilly PLUS host Fan Cy Feast
  • a hip-shakin’ 1960s Bat-tastic dance party DJ’d by nightlife legend and Toilet Boys front man Miss Guy
  • prizes from Toy Tokyo, original sin cider, Midtown comics, Circlet Press, and Booty and the Geek!

This one night only event is less than a week away, so get your tickets now!http://tinyurl.com/ldbklnd